Hi friends :)

Packing is hard and my bag is overweight. That's it. That's the blog for today…

Honestly though, I did not realize how much preparation it would take to actually be physically ready for my race. Maybe it is just my type A brain, but yall, the amount of extra specific lists I have made this week is insane! I have talked with a bunch of my squadmates and thankfully we are all feeling the pressure of packing, and some of us, the pressure of training for the fitness hike (which I have hidden deep in the back of my mind and refuse to think about until the day of).

I think the worst part about this week is the anticipation. I am so ready to see my squad, but I also am not ready to say goodbye to my family. It is a very weird mixture of feelings that I cannot even begin to express to you all.

My squad leader sent me this verse last night, Deuteronomy 31:8, “The Lord is the one who will go before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged.” I really love this verse because it is such a lovely reminder that even in the midst of my own heartache over something so small like saying goodbye to friends and family, God is there. Even in the small and safe community I will be in, God takes any fear I have upon Himself and washes it away. Even when I feel like I seriously cannot go on the race and I am just so sad and scared and nervous and anxious, God is there to help me through it; to be my comfort. He has already made a plan for my squad and even for me. He knows exactly where we are going, each life we will touch, every hardship we will face, and He will be there through it all. 

Such a short verse made me realize how often I put God into a box. And so now I am really trying to keep my mind open, to not wait on God but *expect* him. This blog is about preparedness and I think a really large part of me getting prepared mentally is practicing trust and expectancy on God. So yeah, that's life right now. I am a mess, literally, and I leave tomorrow. Four weeks of tenting with the spiders and bugs, and of course the best squadmates, here I come! 

All the love,

     Caroline